p o r c h .

i spend a lot of time on my porch these days. salad and i bathe in the sunshine and curl up in warm sweaters in the evenings. the weather is quite lovely. i would even call it perfect. cool at night and high 60s to 70s during the day. i drink tea, i read, i spend too much time on the internet. job hunting is exhausting. i'm ready for some replies. i'm ready for some interviews. i'm ready to work. i'm not cut out for this in between.

lately, distraction has gotten the better of me. last week going out was my downfall. i spent too many dollars on liquid that made me feel like death warmed over. friday was rough. cataloging submissions at sxsw would seem like a cake walk, but when you can't get past nausea it's a difficult task. the more free time i have to spend thinking about my life, makes me think i'm less qualified and capable than i really am. applying jobs can make you feel like less of a person when no one responds. also, i've called everyone in my phone to hang out. i didn't realize how much i needed social interaction. when you have spent the last three years of your life providing face to face customer service, you grow accustom to being with people all the time. i'm starting to hate my alone time. i'm starting to realize how lonely i really am. however, making some new friends has helped.

today, i have found a new love. ray lamontagne. i knew of his greatest but never fully explored it. all i have to say is swoon.