je m'appelle avan.

t u m b l r .

2009-09-03T22:58:00.001-05:00

i have moved over to tumblr.

calliopetricycle.tumblr.com

l a c k .

2009-08-11T09:02:00.002-05:00

i keep writing entries and deleting them due to lack of content. they just aren't funny, and i thought i would have something funnier to say. so, this will be my update because i can't find anything better to write.

basically, i work too much. happy hour is my new jam though.

h e c t i c .

2009-05-16T21:01:00.002-05:00

i work so much now, i never get to update my blog. total sadness. having three jobs might kill me, but so far i'm enjoying it and don't really have time to spend the money i'm making. i just learned that we are closed at the grocery on may 25th, which means yay! a day off and i get paid for it! that's what i'm talking about.

i'm also going to be house sitting for almost three weeks starting next weekend. it'll be like a mini-vacation before my real one. and they live right by the springs. swimming every day = happy avan. now i just have to find a margarita lover to drink with me after work/swimming.

vacation is less than a month away. i finally get to go to a film festival outside of austin and not have to work it. i bought passes and can't wait to drink free alcohol and party with my brother in vegas. it's going to be awesome to just totally let loose and not worry about anything. some of my friends from austin will even be there!

nutt and evan get back in a week!!!

o n e y e a r a g o .

2009-04-14T01:24:00.001-05:00

14.4.08
i just don't want to be lonely anymore.

----

it's still true a year later.

2009-04-14T00:44:00.003-05:00

goal:

start writing down all the funny random things that happen to me because my life really is a sitcom. i'm going to write a funny screenplay if it kills me. i'm a funny person. people tell me this all the time. the powers of my brother and i combined would be unstoppable.

-----
the amount of love i have for my cat has to be unhealthy. seriously, i could sit and stare at her for hours, and i do. she is currently curled into a ball sleeping next to my computer on my bed as i sit here typing. if i pet her she will wake up and clean herself wherever i touched her. i think she is OCD.

2009-04-03T20:10:00.001-05:00

can i start using fail-whaled as a term instead of just failed? is that cool?

2009-03-28T18:51:00.001-05:00

i kind of want to apply for a position at cinevegas for volunteer manager. i'm not sure my brother would appreciate me crashing on his couch for two months. hmmm.

2009-03-22T13:26:00.003-05:00

i'm exhausted. i could sleep for a week. but, i had the best week and met some amazing people. now, i will begin the withdrawal symptoms that arrive post-festival. thank you to everyone that made my week amazing, and i can't wait to see you again. by the way, john nemec gives great hugs. kathryn lasater knows how to get down. the tech crew can rock some sick 'staches. and everyone involved is simply amazing! i love my sxsw family.

s x s w .

2009-03-21T11:28:00.002-05:00

the film count:
winnebago man
breaking upwards
sweethearts of the prison rodeo
the immaculate conception of little dizzle
humpday
rip! a remix manifesto
splinterheads
i love you, man
observe & report
mine

band count:
the temper trap
tigercity
bishop allen
amanda palmer
the greencards
haley bonar

interactive panels:
a TON!

today is the last day, more movies, more bands, more fun!

2009-03-05T23:40:00.001-06:00

i'm thinking it's really bad for me to be boy crazy during sxsw. i can see no good coming from this state of being. however, i see a lot of fun in my future.

2009-03-02T00:24:00.003-06:00

do you ever just make yourself stay awake even though you know your body is exhausted? like you are looking for that secret, something magic, but you know it's not there. not tonight.
----
my cat is sleeping between my legs under the covers right now. that is what i call undying love. i will let her get away with anything and she will forever be my cuddle monster.
----
i'm thinking about transferring over to tumblr. is that wrong to mention on blogger? i feel like i'm about to get caught cheating.

2009-03-01T07:48:00.001-06:00

i can't stop listening to this song by the temper trap called "sweet disposition."

i n s p i r a t i o n .

2009-03-01T01:31:00.002-06:00

i need to bring this blog back to what it's all about. creativity. art. photo. film. passion. love. sharing. music. beauty. sunny days. living and loving life to it's fullest. not sweating the small shit, the number one lesson i always ALWAYS forget. you only live once and if you forget how to live, what are you doing here?

luck is when opportunity meets preparation. get out there and start preparing. words i need to listen to and start living by. i'm wasting away sitting in my house penniless when i could be penniless and taking photos. elementary, my dear watson.

-------
however, i really want a hand-held mini-video camera. maybe i can bust out the old school konica and make some really low-grade videos...ideas, ideas, ideas.

tomorrow, kite festival. be there or be L7 (square).

l o v e .

2009-02-28T11:52:00.003-06:00

they held each other tighter and tighter. they were afraid.
i am happy in your arms, said seymour.
and i am happy in yours.
is this what it feels like?
what?
to be loved, to be held, to be intimate without the fear of penetration?
i think so.
yes, i think so, too. i think this is what women have wanted from men for all of our lives. i think they want to be held in our arms and fall asleep in the absence of body fluids.
i think you may be right.
they held each other tighter and tighter. they were not aroused. they were warm and safe.

sherman alexie - excerpt from "south by southwest" from " the toughest indian in the world"

2009-02-24T21:32:00.002-06:00

my computer is dying - the saga continues.

when i try to play dvds there is a lot of weird green spots on the screen, kind of like it's not reading all the coding off the disc. do i wait until it goes completely kaput or do i just go ahead and buy a new mac and transfer everything then send this one to a computer graveyard/part salvage place?

i know that i can't afford a new one, but how in the hell does one live without a computer? i did that in college and it completely sucked until i got my little gem of a mac for christmas one year. however, times were easier then because i had access to computer labs all over campus. blah! i seriously don't know what to do.

2009-02-16T23:37:00.003-06:00

sometimes people just really aren't worth your time, and it sucks when you finally figure this out. i hope that people don't feel this way about me. where you try and try to be the best friend possible to realize they are a lousy friend in return. it's just easier to cut your losses. i just really hate to give up on people, especially ones that i genuinely like and think are good quality people.

s u n d a y s.

2009-02-15T22:15:00.004-06:00

sunday is my favorite day. yes, i have to get up at 7am and watch babies for four hours at a church, but for some reason they remind me that you only live once and to just have fun. they are so young and all they want to do is play and learn. slowly, they become connected to you and it's so special when you see them learning to walk and talk. it makes my heart smile.

and then you have the rest of the day to do what sundays are best for - eating, catching up, and napping. today, i took a bike ride (something i haven't done in almost a year - pathetic) to mi madres to eat lunch with some new friends, james and sarah. they are a super sweet couple that recently moved here from nyc. i love new friends. then i read on the porch, called la famille, and finally got to catch up with one of my bestest, lizzie!! the weather was perfect, and i wish i would have gone to park or to jo's to bask in the sunshine and people watch. maybe next week.

2009-02-14T09:55:00.002-06:00

i'm officially a sxsw interactive intern. my inner geek is out on display. i write blog posts as part of the deal and my first one was published yesterday.
boost your career with webgrrls
i'm so excited to be part of the family. i see good things for my future, but my life is about to get hella busy!

2009-02-12T14:04:00.003-06:00

it really pisses me off to know that my car isn't even safe in my own driveway. given, i currently share the driveway with two other cars, but my car has been hit TWICE in the matter of weeks. no one is fessing up to it, but today i sent my landlady an email stating that my car was hit sometime between last night and this morning and it has to be her or her friend. seriously, that's just fucked up and i'm really frustrated!

2009-02-09T00:58:00.003-06:00

this weekend was an excellent and perfect one. friday was nicole's birthday. i have known her for exactly three years. we met at a house party on her 21st birthday, and i proudly call her one of my closest friends now. i love how that works out. i made her these delicious fudge-y brownie bombs from scratch and a mix cd. the best presents are handmade, right? to celebrate a few of us went to dinner then headed to the east side to meet up with everyone else and hang out. i'm completely in love with the bars on the east sixth (rio rita, the good knight & shangri la). shangri la is quickly climbing my favorites list. it was a fun and sober night for me. lately, i've been enjoying the fruits of not drinking. it's good for the pocket book and the memory. just get me a coke and i'm a happy camper these days.

saturday was really low key. an old wilmington friend of amory's recently moved to town with his lady and they had a some folks over for drinks and conversation on their back porch. it was the perfect way to spend a warm saturday afternoon. they inspired me to have folks over to our place. we still haven't formally had a party. fourth of july was an attempt at a party that never materialized properly. now, i'm thinking a "i'm going back to work FINALLY" party.

today, was the typical sunday. i watched the kiddos this morning. we had 17 kids during the first service at church. CRAZY! then i met up with some friends at jo's for coffee and tunes. adrienne's doggie got spooked and ran under a truck parked on the street and all our hearts were in our throats for a hot second. then i conqured the task of making pizza dough from scratch and creating these "pizza pouches." delicious.

a very good weekend in my book.

2009-01-28T09:48:00.002-06:00

last week, i baked cupcakes for a friend's birthday. they were peanut butter cupcakes with chocolate buttercream icing. they were pretty darn good, but for a girl who isn't a huge peanut butter lover it was a little too rich for me.

v a p i d .

2009-01-28T00:14:00.000-06:00

i always do this, i always get excited and then it never works out. another friend, another failed attempt, another disappointment. i can not express how sick i am of being unemployed/waiting to start this new job. it is bad for one person to have this much free time. i don't need to think about my life this much, to think about all the things i dislike about my life, to think about all the things i want to change but don't know how, to think about all the people i wish i could see. it drains the motivation out of me. most people would kill for free time, and i don't want any. i miss being so busy, i don't have time to sleep.

2009-01-27T15:11:00.001-06:00

the truth is rarely pure and never simple.
-oscar wilde

e a s t a u s t i n i t e .

2009-01-25T22:58:00.003-06:00

i was featured in a blog this past week - east austinite.

each week james writes a feature on someone living on the east side. you should definitely check it out! email him to take par and answer his questions. i love reading about the folks that live over here and seeing their perspective on how the neighborhood is changing. they also feature all the fun happenings of the east side. it's carving a spot in my heart just like the austinist.

2009-01-25T22:56:00.000-06:00

and i am back at square one. again.

h a p p y !

2009-01-20T20:41:00.000-06:00

this is a good one!
----
Sagittarius-
Your current optimism may not last as long as you wish, but you can use it now to set important events into motion. Your approach to a current situation may be quite eclectic; no one knows what you're going to do -- least of all, you. Nevertheless, if you trust your instincts rather than the rulebook, you could be happily surprised by the outcome of whatever action you initiate.

t h o u g h t s

2009-01-16T20:19:00.003-06:00

a few thoughts for today:

- sometimes i don't want to be the one that always calls to see what is going on.
- maybe he's just not that into you - story of my life.
- i have cabin fever, but no money. not a good combo.
- you know you are broke when you are making only brown rice for dinner.
-i miss when my life was so busy i was never home and never bored.
- "damages" is my new addiction.

m i x e s g a l o r e .

2009-01-11T01:22:00.002-06:00

birthday mix complete.

fleet foxes - white winter hymnal
destroyer - beggars might ride
menomena - muscle'n flo
sloan - i can feel it
the dismemberment plan - ellen and ben
ted leo & the pharmacists - first to finish, last to start
mates of state - my only offer
hall & oates - kiss on my list
ike & tina turner - nutbush city limits
traveling wilburys - wilbury twist
rilo kiley - the execution of all things
ben gibbard - you remind me of home
she & him - why do you let me stay here?
neutral milk hotel - two-headed boy
the kinks - a well respected man
the mountain goats - dance music
voxtrot - long haul
santogold - l.e.s. artistes
grizzly bear - on a neck, on a spit
the new pornograhers - adventures in solitude
sufjan stevens - jacksonville
spoon - delicate place

i can't wait to give it to them, and i found the best card! i love birthdays!

2009-01-07T20:28:00.002-06:00

i'm having one of those days where i feel restless. nothing is satiating my desire to go go go. i'm not sure what i want to do, or where or anything for that matter. i just don't want to be at home. i could be in someone else's house doing nothing and that would be fine. i just can't sit in these four walls anymore doing the same thing i do all day long. these are my last few days of freedom and i want to live them up with my friends. sad part is, all my friends have real jobs.

v a l e n t i n e ' s 0 9 .

2009-01-05T20:33:00.002-06:00

work has already begun on the valentine's mix of 2009. it's a little early to unveil this year's version, but i feel confident in the mix. i also need to make a mix for a friend's birthday. this will be a challenge. let me know what you guys think! here's what i have thus far:

hot chip - over and over
destroyer - european oils
bon iver - skinny love
fleet foxes - he doesn't know why
j mascis and the fog - does the kiss fit
the new pornographers - go places
little joy - brand new start
neil young - harvest moon
ray lamontagne - can i stay
death cab for cutie - you can do better than me
sam cooke - cupid
animal collective - winters love
kayne west - love lockdown
rilo kiley - with arms outstretched
kings of leon - use somebody
the shirelles - will you love me tomorrow
jenny lewis - tryin' my best
nicole atkins - the way it is
jens lekman - your arms around me

it's number five, hard to believe.

2009-01-04T22:53:00.002-06:00

i want to write an entry about the ups and downs of 2008, but i can't quite wrap my head around writing it all down. it was a year that took the cake. i feel i truly became a grown up. i think it might be something that has to be written down on paper then transfered to the internets.

coming soon...the life and times of avan version 2.8

2009-01-03T10:58:00.001-06:00

once again, i'm confused by a boy. as the motto in college went "i'm breezy!"

2009-01-02T00:27:00.002-06:00

today was perfect. i couldn't have asked for a better new year's day. let's make a list, because i LOVE them.

-woke up and watched the rose parade. beautiful.
-watched "burn after reading" - not a fan.
-walked four miles around town lake with avery.
-gorgeous weather!
-ate comfort food with ronnie and went to see "doubt".
-had a fabulous new year's eve. the holiday has regained my faith.

i'm ready for this year. i'm excited about all the possibilities that it holds.

2008-12-31T18:13:00.002-06:00

the last day is a good day.

i welcome 2009 with open arms and a smile! come 'er, good looking!

2008-12-30T22:21:00.002-06:00

this has been the most unhappy christmas to date. it just didn't feel like christmas. there was no tree. there were no presents. it wasn't cold and it was rainy/foggy/misty the whole time. i felt like i was in high school again and had no transportation. i developed the sinus infection from hell as well. i didn't even get to see my best friend for more than an hour. however, i did get to eat some barbeque, watch some movies, and i got two adorable new coats. i also read a lot! my mother has no tv channels and no internet connection at her house. it's like walking into the stone age when i go home.

i'm ready to be well again, to start working, and to get back to my life.

2008-12-21T22:29:00.003-06:00

i just ate dinner with nutt and evan. yummy and fun!
i'm headed to north carolina tomorrow for a week of home-cooking and mountain-lovin' fun!
finished reading "revolutionary road" last night. amazing!
i'm pack and looking forward to a day of people watching and reading at the airport tomorrow.

u g h .

2008-12-18T12:52:00.003-06:00

i talked to the unemployment office this morning. i could seriously hurt her! never work for your friends and never become friends with your boss. there is something to be said about working in an environment where everyone has their role and positions. working in a small group will just come back to bite you in the ass in the long run. i want to sever all ties and never ever have to see most of them again. it just shows you who your true friends are. i would never do this to one of my friends, at least not in the way this has gone down. but then again, i'm not passive aggressive and scared of confrontation. i don't care if people like me or not.

----
this blog has totally become a sounding board for my frustrations with life. remember when i posted about movies and fun stuff. 2008 is the year of suck-age.

e m p l o y m e n t .

2008-12-16T18:30:00.002-06:00

yay!
i will have two jobs come the new year! nursery attendant and natural grocers cashier!

but, how am i going to pay my bills between now and then when the unemployment phone line is always busy?!? maybe it will ring tomorrow and i will get all the confusion squared away. i need that $310 bucks a week.

this is a good news day! there is finally light at the end of my hell tunnel.

n e k o .

2008-12-14T20:22:00.002-06:00

chimney falls and lovers blaze
thought that i was young
now i've freezing hands and bloodless veins
as numb as i've become

i'm so tired
i wish i was the moon tonight

last night i dreamt i had forgotten my name
'cause i had sold my soul but awoke just the same
i'm so lonely
i wish i was the moon tonight

god blessed me, i'm a free man
with no place free to go
i'm paralyzed and collared-tight
no pills for what i fear

this is crazy
i wish i was the moon tonight

chimney falls and lovers blaze
thought that i was young
now i've freezing hands & bloodless veins
as numb as i've become

i'm so tired,
i wish i was the moon tonight

how will you know if you found me at last
'cause i'll be the one, be the one, be the one
with my heart in my lap
i'm so tired, i'm so tired
i wish i was the moon tonight

- i wish i was the moon, neko case

2008-12-14T20:20:00.003-06:00

i just watched a documentary on the jonestown massacre. i will never understand cults. they baffle my mind and are so intriguing. now, there's one on about charles manson. i heart msnbc on sunday nights.

r i p .

2008-12-08T23:04:00.002-06:00

clove.

rest in peace, old girl. you were the best dog any family could ever ask for. you will be missed and never forgotten. i hope you found a happy place to spend your few breathes and are now in a place with ginger and you ladies can chase rabbits all day.

l i g h t .

2008-12-08T19:01:00.002-06:00

i can kind of see the light at the end of the tunnel.
it's crazy windy outside today. i like it.
i'm not ready for my birthday. another year come and gone and another slew of disappointments.

what's it gonna be??

2008-12-08T18:22:00.000-06:00

See more Mike O'Connell videos at Funny or Die

s c a r e d .

2008-11-30T22:24:00.003-06:00

i am sad. i am lonely. i am freaking out. how the hell did this happen to me? how am i going to pay my bills this month? fuck. this is what has been running through my head on repeat this week. i can't shake it. i can't pull myself up. i can't do anything that i haven't already done. i've applied for everything. the stress is building and part of me wants to hit the eject button, but i know that i am stronger than that. if this is what it means to be an adult, i hate it. i want to run home and cry on my mother's couch and somehow that will make everything alright. i can't fight off this urge to cry everyday. but, i know that tears aren't going to change anything.

i hate this year. this year has sucked in so many ways. it has been as hard as when i first moved here. i wish i could take off to costa rica again, hike a huge hill and cry and see the light at the end of the tunnel. i guess this is my quarter-life crisis. what the fuck am i doing? i feel like i talk in circles about my situation and nothing is helping. i really wish i could find exactly what i am looking for, but there are so many things that i want to do. i can't focus on one long enough to make any headway towards an ending goal. i just know that i want to make a difference, and that i would love for art to be the force that drives that difference. maybe teaching art, maybe art therapy. art is my comfort zone, it's where i thrive, where i draw my energy from and i want to be able to transfer that onto others. how do i do that? does that mean that i have to go back to school? do i have to get a master's? i am the only one that can answer these questions. and the uncertainty of everything scares the crap out of me.

"i wanna nog your egg."

2008-11-28T15:19:00.000-06:00

The Colbert ReportMon - Thurs 11:30pm / 10:30c

A Colbert Christmas: John Legend

Colbert at Christmas
Colbert Christmas DVD

Green Screen
Bill O'Reilly Interview

s w o o n .

2008-11-28T15:00:00.001-06:00

i am in love with this man's style.

kanye, don't ever change.

r a n d o m .

2008-11-26T12:55:00.002-06:00

random thoughts about today.

-sometimes i let in bugs just to keep my cat occupied.
-i baked banana bread this morning, only to realize i forgot to buy tinfoil at the grocery.
-i am going to create x-mas postcards this year instead of buying cards.
-i love taking baths.
-i'm excited that tomorrow is thanksgiving. gobble gobble.
-i'm scared to ask my father for money.
-why am i still unemployed?
-earl grey tea is the best thing ever. can i call it a comfort food?
-i hate how i find inspiration to create, then never actual make my ideas happen.
-secretly, i love folding laundry, but i hate to vacuum.
-i heart "alt-country," bluegrass, and honky-tonk. it makes me feel safe.

d e a d .

2008-11-23T20:56:00.001-06:00

power adapter number two for my powerbook g4 died today. i pray to go they still make them. i really can't afford to buy a new mac.

my fingers are crossed.

w h i s t l e .

2008-11-22T13:35:00.001-06:00

i just bought a single ticket to andrew bird and got a great seat! i'm excited!!

p o r c h .

2008-11-17T14:24:00.003-06:00

i spend a lot of time on my porch these days. salad and i bathe in the sunshine and curl up in warm sweaters in the evenings. the weather is quite lovely. i would even call it perfect. cool at night and high 60s to 70s during the day. i drink tea, i read, i spend too much time on the internet. job hunting is exhausting. i'm ready for some replies. i'm ready for some interviews. i'm ready to work. i'm not cut out for this in between.

lately, distraction has gotten the better of me. last week going out was my downfall. i spent too many dollars on liquid that made me feel like death warmed over. friday was rough. cataloging submissions at sxsw would seem like a cake walk, but when you can't get past nausea it's a difficult task. the more free time i have to spend thinking about my life, makes me think i'm less qualified and capable than i really am. applying jobs can make you feel like less of a person when no one responds. also, i've called everyone in my phone to hang out. i didn't realize how much i needed social interaction. when you have spent the last three years of your life providing face to face customer service, you grow accustom to being with people all the time. i'm starting to hate my alone time. i'm starting to realize how lonely i really am. however, making some new friends has helped.

today, i have found a new love. ray lamontagne. i knew of his greatest but never fully explored it. all i have to say is swoon.

a w e s o m e .

2008-11-12T17:58:00.001-06:00

i just linked to this site through someone's flickr. this is awesome!

the photographic dictionary

you have to check it out!

e g g l e s t o n .

2008-11-09T20:26:00.002-06:00

william eggleston.

i think i found some new inspiration.

i want to turn this image into a sketch and use it as the face of calliope tricycle designs. now, i just have to make it happen. being unemployed gives me plenty of time. i have to start my art/craft dream sometime.

nytimes - op-ed

2008-11-09T11:34:00.002-06:00

it still felt good the morning after

i love this opinion piece!

yes, we can...

2008-11-05T09:07:00.001-06:00

...and we did!

photo credit - michael macor, san francisco chronicle

f u n .

2008-11-02T23:09:00.003-06:00

i have been thinking up cheap ways to have fun and i have compiled a list of the things i would like to do. here goes:

-canoe on town lake.
-peter pan mini-golf after 9 (for the byob).
-breakfast tacos at taco deli then hiking barton creek greenbelt.
-frisbee at zilker.
-toss mini plastic skeleton men with parachutes from high places.
-drink beers on the porch/backyard party!
-board game night.
-coffee and crossword puzzles.
-photo adventures exploring austin.
-cooking/dinner parties.
-monday night bowling at dart bowl.

to be continued.

d e v a s t a t e d .

2008-10-30T20:53:00.002-05:00

this week has been a bad one. i came back from mexico to find out i no longer had a job. it's a really shitty situation. i feel like i have a knife hanging out of my back and had a really bad break-up. it's not fun getting blindsided by something and from someone who is one of your best friends. so, now my full time job is finding a job. so far there has been nothing. i've been occupying my time by volunteering at mobile film school helping them prepare for their next workshop and building their database. i've sent emails to tons of people seeing if they know of anyone looking for help. i've sent out one resume for a development position mainly working with a database.

i wish i could elaborate more on how i feel. i can't eat. i'm numb. i can't help crying whenever i think about what has happened. all i want to do is call my mom, but i can't because she is still in mexico. it's been a really bad week.

2008-10-15T21:03:00.001-05:00

You may want to have more stability in your everyday routines, such as diet, exercise and sleep. But there can be too many distractions these days, making self-discipline even tougher than usual. You may reach a point where it's healthier to let go of control, instead of frustrating yourself by trying to tighten your grip on reality. Tomorrow is another day.

---
sometimes these things are so right it freaks me out.

h e r m i t .

2008-10-05T23:21:00.000-05:00

it rhymes with kermit, and i've officially become one. with only $40 some odd dollars in my checking account until next week, i'm not allowed to leave the house. i foresee this being my way of life for a undisclosed amount of time. i'm going to fondly take to drinking and reading on the porch now that the weather has cooled off. i should learn to read my tea leaves because earl grey with soy is going to be my new diet.

come on over, we can watch a netflix!

g e n i u s .

2008-09-15T10:46:00.001-05:00

i am currently in love with the new genius application on itunes. this is brilliant!!!

h a p p y .

2008-09-08T23:40:00.000-05:00

puppy love by brooke b.

this makes me smile. gramps is the cutest puppy, and to see him sleeping will make your heart melt. i got to babysit him at work last friday. it made my day!

2008-09-06T17:25:00.000-05:00

i think my ipod just died, or is in the process of dying.

it's frozen in play yet it's not playing. tragically, the song it's stuck on is jeff buckley's "lover you should have come over." i hope it can resurrect itself when the battery dies. here's to praying.

t r a v e l .

2008-09-04T13:53:00.001-05:00

i have three trips and a music festival coming up. all activities take place within the span of a month. i haven't been anywhere since my month-long excursion last december to latin america and north carolina. i'm so excited to take a vacation and get out of austin. i will get to see friends that i haven't seen since i moved to austin and others that i haven't seen since high school. i can't wait to see some of those friends that you just never want to seperate from, the ones that you find their personalities infectious and addictive and you love them no matter what. and i get to end the whole month with a trip to mexico, where i plan to sit, drink, and read for a week. i feel like such a grown-up these days, yet a kid at the same time. i'm loving life at this moment.

m e r g e .

2008-09-02T17:55:00.000-05:00

why is it that texans do not understand the concept of merging? it's really not that complicated. you just blend, it's easy as pie!

s t u p i d .

2008-08-18T18:10:00.000-05:00

when am i going to learn that boys are dumb and just let you down in the end?

i can't believe i'm here again. seriously? i love that austin is the no. 1 city for being single. i hate this city for that very reason. where do the good guys hang out? send me a memo, when you figure it out.

god, i need a vacation from my life.

2008-08-15T16:09:00.000-05:00

i have an interview at south by southwest on tuesday afternoon.

i'm freaking out!

m a u v a i s .

2008-08-08T23:40:00.000-05:00

i'm not doing so well today.

two loves come together.

2008-08-07T22:46:00.000-05:00

judd apatow's david gordon green

two of my filmmaking loves, one completely silly and one i absolutely adore, come together to make a film. a completely ridiculous film that i can't wait to see, "pineapple express." here's an article that picks apart both of their styles and compares their similarities and differences and how they came together to make a film.

w o r d s .

2008-08-06T21:37:00.000-05:00

aaron siskind, antiques, appalachia, austin, barry mcgee, blue ridge parkway, burt's beeswax, camp rockmont's zipline, charleston, clean sheets, coffee, cooking/baking, costa rica, crossword puzzles, dirty joel, dizzie lizzie, fireworks, fresh cut grass, gerber daisies, getting postcards, henri cartier-bresson, ilford products, independent film, jonathan safran foer, judy dater, kisses on the forehead, knit caps, kurt vonnegut junior, library cards, matthew barney, mechanical pencils, minimalism, my bicyclette, north carolina, organic, perfect sunsets, photography, pink and purple clouds, printmaking, sailing, salad the cat, scrabble, shannanegans, soup, steve seskin, swimming in the rain, tctw, the grand tetons, vernazza, wolf creek pass, yosemite

these are some things that explain me, mean the world to me, and are ways i strive to live my life. it's the simple small things that make life worth living. you have to appreciate what surrounds you.

s p o o n y .

2008-08-06T21:12:00.001-05:00

spoony: foolishly or sentimentally in love.

2008-07-13T19:17:00.000-05:00

joy of tech comic

hilarious!

v i d e o .

2008-07-09T15:35:00.000-05:00

White Winter Hymnal from Grandchildren on Vimeo

2008-07-06T23:18:00.000-05:00

a list of things, a wish list of sorts:

-to finally create my inspiration wall.
-typewriter.
-sewing machine.
-get calliope tricycle designs off the ground.
-create website/etsy store.
-take a photo i love every day.
-sketch more/get my crazy characters on paper.
-make the stack of magazines next to my bed smaller by reading them.
-pull over and take the photo when i see something that inspires me.
-negative scanner.
-make the darkroom happen sometime before the year ends.
-porch drinking.
-more new friends.
-road trips to texas hill country.
-krause springs!
-create blog for brooke and i to post photos and other creative ventures on.

things to make happen. i'll do them one at a time and hopefully, by 2009 this list will be all crossed out letters.

f l e e t f o x e s .

2008-07-03T22:50:00.001-05:00

today, i realized that the song i can't get out of my head is fleet foxes "white winter hymnal." i love that i realize this the day after they play a show at the mohawk. oh, the sitcom that i call my life. anyway, the album is amazing! everyone should give it a listen.

o r a n g e .

2008-07-02T00:19:00.000-05:00

2008-06-29T11:48:00.000-05:00

praise the humble dung beetle

a rather interesting article about endangered species that you never see and what they do for the environment. it puts a lot of things into perspective.

2008-06-26T00:52:00.000-05:00

i find this very amusing. i'm trying to figure out the name of a prince song by listening to 30 second clips in the itunes store, and over to the side it lists artists that the listeners also bought. i believe this helps describe my love for certain music minus the billy idol. here is what they listed:

michael jackson
billy idol
david bowie
sting & the police
journey

that has me written all over it. if you have ever been in a car with me or received a mix from me, you know i have a weakness for a) michael jackson, b) journey, and c) LOVE david bowie. come on, labyrinth is the best thing since grits! dance magic dance!

2008-06-25T01:02:00.000-05:00

i think i'm over it.

it didn't take much, but somehow it worked. i'm relieved. now i can get back to the regular scheduled, awesome programming that is my life!

so, when does everyone want to hang out? i'm ready for some summer porch drinking and photo taking extravaganzas post kickball games. it's east side summer living.

s a l a d .

2008-06-23T00:11:00.000-05:00

my true love.

o l d f r i e n d s = n e w f r i e n d s .

2008-06-22T15:49:00.000-05:00

thursday was my friend ryan's birthday. i hadn't hung out with that crew of kids in a really long time. i was a really nice change of pace. i forgot how much i liked hanging out at their house and just shooting the shit drinking brew masters. it was like all the kids i love were there. i even made some new friends that i'm excited to start hanging out with pronto. i got to talk photography and art and the east coast. three things i LOVE. it makes me want to start taking pictures again and get my shit in gear and start creating. i've become such a lazy bum since i moved here. i need to get a negative scanner and make it happen. i think i need to be around others that are taking photos to make me do it. when i was in school you couldn't pry the camera out of my hand, now it seems like i never pick it up. the lighting is perfect these summer evenings for sitting on the porch and drinking and taking photos.

it's a summer goal. photograph everything!

2008-06-15T23:26:00.000-05:00

this song kills me.
-------
death cab - i will possess your heart

how i wish you could see the potential,
the potential of you and me.
it's like a book elegantly bound but,
in a language that you can't read. just yet.

you gotta spend some time, love.
you gotta spend some time with me.
and i know that you'll find, love
i will possess your heart.
you gotta spend some time, love.
you gotta spend some time with me.
and i know that you'll find, love
i will possess your heart.

there are days when outside your window
i see my reflection as i slowly pass,
and i long for this mirrored perspective
when we'll be lovers, lovers at last.

you gotta spend some time, love.
you gotta spend some time with me.
and i know that you'll find, love
i will possess your heart.
you gotta spend some time, love.
you gotta spend some time with me.
and i know that you'll find, love
i will possess your heart.
i will possess your heart.
i will possess your heart.

you reject my... advances... and desperately...
i won't let you... let me down... so easily. so easily.

you gotta spend some time, love.
you gotta spend some time with me.
and i know that you'll find, love
i will possess your heart.
you gotta spend some time, love.
you gotta spend some time with me.
and i know that you'll find, love
i will possess your heart.
you gotta spend some time, love.
you gotta spend some time with me.
and i know that you'll find, love
i will possess your heart.
i will possess your heart.
i will possess your heart.

b l a h .

2008-06-13T23:33:00.000-05:00

i hate this. i had a few good days and now i'm back here again. sadly, i think a boy is the root of this issue, and that pisses me off.

maybe the springs will make me happy tomorrow.

c h e r r y b o m b .

2008-06-10T09:43:00.000-05:00

spoon has a new video for "you got your cherry bomb" and i met the kid that made it this year at sxsw. it's awesome! just imagine cutting out all those little pieces of paper and photographing every scene. it's nuts!

you got yr. cherry bomb

2008-06-05T16:33:00.000-05:00

i'm in this funk i just can't shake. i don't know the root of the problem, and that kills me. i'm usually good at identifying my issues and working through them to the best of my ability. i don't want to be this moody mess of avan. i want to be avan, normal happy smiley avan. where did she go? how did i lose her along the way? is it the job? are the tarrytowners eating away at my soul? do i need a vacation? do i need to drink more to numb the pain? what is the answer?

last night, my new neighbor told me my cat, salad, was cute. she is four. it warmed my heart. her and her brother were sitting on the porch playing with a broom and started asking me all kinds of questions. living on the east side makes my heart smile. you get culture, different kinds of people. materialism doesn't follow me home to that part of town, and i like that aspect. i miss costa rica where all walks of life just appreciate being alive and are happy to just sit on their porch at the end of the day and chat with the neighbors. they don't have any other worries. they are in the moment. where did my moment go? i have to find it and reclaim it.

like christopher mccandless said, "the core of mans' spirit comes from new experiences," i need to go find some new experiences. right now, i feel a bit trapped, locked in, tied down. none of these things are true, but for some reason i feel like they are.

2008-05-23T02:53:00.001-05:00

i'm not doing anything at all, yet i know he is interested. it's frustrating as hell. at a certain point, i'm just going to get sick of waiting. fuck!

all i want to do is grab him and kiss him and be like 'seriously, come on! let's make this happen!'

instead, i'll just keep waiting and try not the be that girl that broke some other girl's heart by stealing her dude. fuck!

c h a n g e .

2008-05-12T23:18:00.000-05:00

life is in a big state of flux. i'm not sure if i like it or hate it. i'm moving to the east side this month. i'm really nervous to sleep there alone. i wish i had someone i was close to that could come stay with me until i felt comfortable. it's always strange sleeping in a new house.

i'm frustrated also. boys make me crazy. i swear there is some flashing light above my head right now that i just can't see. i'm so confused. i'm just going to ride it out. it's going to happen. i'm just going to keep saying that to myself. wait out for the one you really like. it'll be worth it in the end. i know it.

guh! i want to write everything i really want to say, but i have no idea who reads this damned thing, so i'm scared. i'm just going to keep my mouth shut.

delicious.

2008-04-29T21:51:00.000-05:00

how i spent my monday evening. spending time in the kitchen helps me relieve stress and use my creativity for something.

2008-04-26T16:57:00.000-05:00

holy shit!

i just checked my bank account and i got my $600 bucks from bush! you suck as a president, but i needed those benjamins baaad!

that just made my awesome saturday that much better.

i also thank god for barton springs! without it, i'm not sure how i would love austin quite as much.

now for cheese and crackers and blackberry sage tea. i love life today!

2008-04-21T22:51:00.000-05:00

it seems as though i've been only writing about the things that make me unhappy.

here are a few things that i'm excited about or have made me happy.

-taking photos!
-kickball!
-the possibility that lazy weekends laying at barton springs are among us.
-finding an awesome real estate person to help amory and me.
-installing leopard on my computer!!!
-having a new job and taking free pilates.
-new friends!
-the possibility of a boy.
-my bi-weekly exercise outings with sweet reet.
-making delicious cupcakes from scratch!
-making new shirts and bracelets for calliope tricycle designs!

all these things haven't left much time for movie watching or periodical/book reading. i have had the same netflix movies for almost three weeks. that's ridiculous. i have to watch them this week if it kills me.

2008-04-20T14:47:00.001-05:00

fuck!

i have to go back to being a hermit and finding free entertainment. i don't know where my money goes, and that is scary. i used to be oh-so-careful. i need to somehow go back to the place where going to whole foods was a luxury. this might take some time. i don't want to ask for money. i shouldn't have to get bailed out when life gets hard. i'm just going to keep blaming the car because fixing it is what got me into this mess. the sad part is, is that it's not completely fixed yet.

fuck!

2008-04-14T23:25:00.000-05:00

i just don't want to be lonely anymore.

h o r o s c o p e .

2008-03-24T22:07:00.000-05:00

it's not easy to open your heart before you are clear about what you want. nevertheless, your courage will be rewarded if you simply share your current thoughts and feelings without trying to get anyone else to cure your ambiguity. the beauty in this is that your openness to the present moment can create a special magic that is not available if you begin with a specific agenda.

2008-03-20T22:51:00.000-05:00

do you think joan cusack will ever look back upon her career and wonder "why did i let them do that to my hair?" i'm flipping channels and stopped on working girl, and her hair is outrageous!

so this week and last week have been insane! between sxsw, quitting a job, and starting a new job, i'm not sure what is going on in my life. i've also been going out like crazy, making new friends, and just being social. i forget what that is like sometimes. you can't miss opportunities though, that is how you lose touch with folks.

i had a dream about this boy. i can't shake it. it involved my soul mate, dirty, and this other boy. i don't know him very well at all but he makes me smile and laugh. he also gets my sense of humor. the dream put things into perspective, in a way. i don't want to go into to much detail. i need to analyze a bit more. basically, i think it's telling me to put myself out there. we shall see.

also, i may have found a place to live come june 1st. i don't think my original plan is going to pan out. the girl living there now is a bit scattered and has issues committing, so i'm seeking alternate routes. i might take over another friend's lease and kitty sit for her. it would be perfect, plus she lives in a great neighborhood!

i've also watched a ton of movies, as usual. here's a list:

battle in seattle
an excellent film written and directed by stuart townsend. it's premise is the story of a group of people involved in the WTO protests in seattle in 1999. the people involved come from all sides, protesters, politicians, corporate liasons, police officers, wives, etc. it was one of my favorite films of the festival. i hope it gets distribution, but even if it doesn't, i believe stuart townsend will try his hardest to get the film seen.

nights & weekends
the new swanberg film. typical swanberg, but much more personal. i really enjoyed this one. it was about love, and how sometimes it doesn't work out, but you will forever love that person.

then she found me
a beautiful film directed by helen hunt. watch for this one in theaters soon.

explicit ills
mark webber made a film and it's excellent. another festival favorite. it deals with poverty in philadelphia and how families cope with the issues that follow poverty.

mister lonely
diego luna as michael jackson is priceless.

the promotion
forgetting sarah marshall
goya's ghosts
atonement
lady chatterley
gone baby gone

2008-03-05T19:27:00.000-06:00

movie update!

i haven't done one of these in a few weeks. i'm becoming very slack with the original reason this blog was started. does that mean i'm growing and finding more interesting things to write about??

death and a funeral
russian dolls
factory girl
into great silence
rendition
margot at the wedding
after the wedding
redacted
harry potter and the order of the phoenix
becoming jane
romance & cigarettes
fat girls
disturbia
night at the museum
trust the man

the only ones that were truly disappointing were harry potter and margot at the wedding. i think i just expected more. there were a few surprises: after the wedding, romance & cigarettes, and redacted. i didn't know what to expect from these movies and they left me surprised and wanting more. i love when that happens with films.

I've also been watching a ton of arrested development. i just can't stop. it's partially due to my crush on michael cera, but it's seriously the best thing that ever happened to tv. why did it get cancelled again?

sxsw starts on friday. i'm not sure i'm ready this year, but it's here anyway. i plan to watch a ton of movies, sleep when i can, and just drink, walk around and hang out. nutters mcgee gets here tomorrow, which means margaritas, el chilito and lots of laughing. i can't wait! i'm ready to have some friends in town. i feeling a lack of friends and social happenings lately. i'm always wanting to go out or be surrounded by people, but no one seems to be available or ever wants to leave their house. how do you make new friends in this town?? this has been a problem since i moved here.

plus, i've been wondering...does anyone actually read this thing??

2008-03-01T22:28:00.000-06:00

parts of the plan that i've stuck to so far:

1. accepting a new job.
2. reading a lot more, watching a lot less (this doesn't include films).
3. living alone come june 1.
4. making new friends. (this is a work in progress.)
5. finding joy in the daily things.

i made a pact with myself in costa rica that i would get back to the things that are really important in life and enjoy people's company and just appreciate every day. sometimes you lose track of these simple things and get wrapped up in the things that bring you down. i've been cooking more, which i love. i've been reading everything i can get my hands on. i've been spending more time with my friends and just getting to know them better. this week i accepted a new job that will have regular hours and i won't spend so much time on my feet running around crazy.

i will get back to this later.

now is time for music and alcohol at hole in the wall.

q u a r t e r l i f e .

2008-02-26T22:06:00.000-06:00

i have a new obsession.

quarterlife.

i can't stop watching the web episodes. it's the next my so-called life. i can't even explain how much i connect with this show, and i usually hate television.

t h r e e r u l e s .

2008-02-19T17:52:00.000-06:00

i happened upon this today when trying to figure out where a saying originated.

the three rules of life

i wish there was a list/database of all the random games/sayings you use as a child. when i have kids i want to teach them all the good ones like punch buggy, the morning birdy song, red rover, etc. i wonder if they have a class when you are preggers that revamps your brain on all the things you loved as a child. it's hard for me to remember them and i'm not even that old. i know that i used to love the nursery rhymes as a kid, but i can't for the life of me tell you one all the way through. that kills me.

f u n n y .

2008-02-13T18:07:00.000-06:00

i have just witnessed one of the funniest things that i've seen in a long time.

hipster boys playing tennis in tight jeans (i'm talking about the ones that are two sizes to small) and vintage tees and pumas or whatever. seriously, who in their right mind works out in that stuff?

just another example of how austin is slowing becoming williamsburg. thank you american apparel.

2008-02-12T15:52:00.000-06:00

the fish within us

an article about how the human is still evolving and at a faster rate than most other living organisms.

2008-02-12T15:06:00.001-06:00

how sticky is membership on facebook? just try breaking free

a rather interesting article about the claws of social networking websites.

d e f e a t .

2008-02-12T13:01:00.000-06:00

after two job interviews in a month (and i swear these were a fluke accident) i feel defeated. i swear, i am never going to get a non-profit job in the arts in this town. all i want to do is stop making lattes and utilize my degree. i love this town, but when is it my turn?